


the words unsaid

by Jenfly



Series: you say it’s enough, in fact it’s too much [2]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Blow Jobs, Denial of Feelings, Hand Jobs, I think?, Light Angst, M/M, Model!Brian, Photographer!John, Porn with Feelings, Sexual Tension, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:13:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22491364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenfly/pseuds/Jenfly
Summary: He couldn’t let himself to get his hopes up, too high, and take the risk of getting his heart broken. It was best to just push it all away and pretend that nothing had changed.
Relationships: John Deacon/Brian May
Series: you say it’s enough, in fact it’s too much [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616281
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30
Collections: Kink Week Queen & BoRhap.





	the words unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** "Tear It Up"
> 
> This piece is probably my fave out of all I've written for the week. I had so much fun while writing this, especially the ending. 😉 Also, this is a birthday present for lovely Binky (tumblr @binkyisonline). 💕
> 
> Hope you all have fun reading this!

Brian arched his back, throwing his head back and a hand over the backrest of the couch while spreading his legs. The movement made the leather pants he was wearing tighten, leaving little to the imagination, and he could hear the frustrated sigh escaping John’s mouth.

”Brian, could you for once pose as I said?” 

Brian tried to fight the smirk but couldn’t prevent it from crossing his lips as he heard the slight sliver of annoyance in John’s voice.

”No,” he said, searching for John’s gaze. John was looking at him with a warning, his grip on the camera tightening and Brian’s smirk just grew. 

”You know this will look better in the pic,” Brian added and John just shook his head slightly.

”You love this, don’t you? Not doing what I told you to?” 

Brian chuckled. ”But I’m not the only one who loves this.”

John was close enough that Brian could see his nostrils flaring, inhaling then deeply in and shifting a bit – the sign that told Brian he had already gotten under John’s skin. It was easy – had been since the start – and Brian knew where it would lead to. The anticipation was starting to ripple in him and he slowly dragged his tongue over his lips, wetting them, seeing how the look in John’s eyes darkened.

”Well, aren’t you going to take the pics?” Brian asked, teasing, and John let the air he had breathed in slowly come out before lifting the camera up to his face.

Brian was internally purring as he settled back to his pose, making sure to jut out his hips and threw his head back, exposing his pale throat. There were several flashes and soft sounds that left off the camera as John took the pictures and Brian changed his pose a bit when he could. The pictures would look great, he was sure of it – years of working as a model had given him a good view of what would work on them and what wouldn’t and, of course, even though it might have not looked like that, he still trusted John’s skills as a photographer.

”I think we’re done for this day now,” John’s voice was calm when he eventually stopped taking pictures and Brian smiled, keeping his pose and listening to as John put the camera away. He heard John approaching him and soon he felt a nudge on his other leg and he moved his head, his curls falling back to the sides to frame his face. He met John’s eyes, the intense look in them making arousal pool in his crotch and a smirk tucked at his lips when John climbed to straddle him.

John brought his other hand up to slide his fingers along the side of Brian’s face, brushing the hair away and tracing a path from his temple down to his cheek and jawline. Brian parted his lips, breathing slowly in and out, and grabbing John’s hips, not breaking their eye-contact. A slight grin passed John’s lips as his fingers followed the curve of Brian’s lips, then running his thumb over the bottom one, making Brian gasp barely audibly.

John hummed, sliding his hand down to Brian’s bare chest and taking his nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pinching it lightly. Brian moaned, his eye fluttering and body jerking as John rested his forehead against his, his breath caressing Brian’s face as he played with Brian’s nipple. Brian shivered, inhaling sharply through his nose and his fingers dug into John’s hips, his cock swelling in his pants.

John buried his free hand to the mass of Brian curls and crashed their lips together as he gave another, this time a harder, pinch to Brian’s nipple. Brian’s moan was drowned by the kiss, their teeth clashing before John tilted his head to the side and slipped his tongue inside Brian’s mouth. Brian’s hands made their way to John’s neck, answering the kiss with roughness, their tongues battling for dominance.

The game was on again and neither of them was willing to give up the control to the other. It was the same pattern all over again – demanding, almost bruising kisses, fight for dominance, hard bites and sucking, hands roaming over the other’s body, trying to feel as much as possible. Sharp tucks, movements to bring pleasure, grips so tight they would leave marks – that was how it had been right from the start. Rough and fast, no words were spoken between them until it would be over.

John’s hands went to the waistband of Brian’s leather pants, starting to fumble with the button and zipper, and he momentarily broke the kiss and moved himself a bit on Brian’s lap to give him a better access and when he finally got the pants open, he smirked as he saw Brian wasn’t wearing anything underneath them. Brian moved his ass up so that John could pull the pants a bit down and free Brian’s cock. He didn’t waste time as he wrapped his fingers around it and preying Brian’s lips in a heated kiss again, swallowing his low growl.

John stroked Brian’s length up and down, his thumb brushing over the tip, making Brian buck up into the touch as his fingernails scraped the sensitive skin of John’s neck. By the time the air became needed, Brian pulled back, his chest heaving due to his panting and John twisted his wrist, adding a bit more pressure to his hand’s movement on Brian’s cock. The sounds leaving from Brian’s lips were a mix of groan and whine and soon his hands fell down on John’s body, other stopping to his shoulder and other to his hip but only momentarily. 

When Brian’s hand slid to John’s crotch, squeezing his cock that was straining inside the jeans, John’s fingers around Brian’s cock loosened and he hissed low at the slight feeling of relief. Brian used his chance to push John away from his lap, manhandling him so that he was sitting on the couch, back hitting the backrest and John blinked, eyes following as Brian got rid of his leather pants, sunk to his knees and started to work John’s jeans open. As soon as he had gotten them open and pulled them down together with John’s undies, John quickly kicked them aside and spread his legs to give Brian more space to take his cock in his mouth.

John’s moan rang in the air and he grabbed a handful of Brian’s curls as Brian started to work on his length, popping his head up and down while his eyes were locked on John’s. The way John’s eyes glowed, dark and intense, and his lips were parted, heavy breaths escaping between them, made heat course through Brian and he swirled his tongue around the head of John’s cock before sucking it. The sound leaving from John was filthy, shooting the arousal right down to Brian’s crotch and Brian hummed around John’s cock, the vibrations it sent causing John to tighten his grip on Brian’s hair, his nails scratching Brian’s scalp a bit.

Brian inhaled through his nose, the anticipation of what was to come tingling within him while he ran his tongue along the underside of John’s length, feeling it throb against his tongue and tasting the pre-cum that was leaking from the tip. When John then pulled at his hair, Brian’s eyes fluttered, the action ripping a filthy moan from his throat before he took John’s cock back into his mouth properly and moved his other hand to play with his balls. John’s hips jerked and Brian breathed out through his nose, pleased by John’s reaction.

John’s free hand came up soon and he brushed away the curls from Brian’s face, then stopping to caress his cheek and the look in his eyes seemed to soften, causing Brian’s movements to falter a bit. It wasn’t the first time something like that happened – that some little move made everything change for a fleeting moment. Despite his lust, arousal clouded mind Brian could still think somewhat rationally but he didn’t like to think that one particular thing. It would only mean he should admit it and he didn’t dare to do that.

This all was just a game – fun, a way to let out some steams. They had been winding each other up right from the start and one thing had lead to another and that was just how it went every time. This game had been on for months and nothing was supposed to change. There wasn’t supposed to be feelings involved but deep down Brian knew it had changed somewhere along the path they had been walking on. Or at least it had changed on his part. 

But he had ignored it, not letting himself dwell on those feelings too long, buried them underneath all the layers and hoped they would stay there, securely hidden. That hope had soon started to crack – especially when these little moments happened between heated actions – and the feelings were prying themselves up and no matter how hard Brian tried to push them back down, it never worked.

Hope was a dangerous thing but when the flame was lit, it wasn’t so easy to extinguish.

This feeling was telling Brian that maybe – just maybe – he might not be the only one who had developed feelings along the way. That there was at least a tiny chance that John would feel the same. But that was something Brian didn’t allow himself to think more. He couldn’t let himself to get his hopes up, too high, and take the risk of getting his heart broken. It was best to just push it all away and pretend that nothing had changed.

John pulled at his hair again and Brian was brought back from his train of thoughts. He couldn’t be completely sure but he might have seen worry pass in John’s gaze but then it was back to its usual intensity and without a second thought Brian continued to work on John’s cock. He swirled his tongue around the head before taking it in, sucking it while he wrapped his fingers around the length, adding just enough pressure when he started to move his head and hand in a balanced rhythm. He kept his pace steady but fairly fast, listening to the sounds that got past John’s lips and feeling how his grip loosened and tightened in his hair.

Brian knew John wouldn’t last long as his hips started bucking up slightly, muscles tensing momentarily, and a few skillful strokes and sucks later John pulled at Brian’s hair as he spilled inside Brian’s mouth with a loud moan. Brian swallowed it down, licking every drop off and pulling then away, breathing heavily and looking at John under his lashes. John’s eyes were hazy due to his orgasm, his hand leaving from Brian’s hair and sliding from the side of his face to under his jaw, cupping it and giving it a gentle nudge. 

Brian stood up and climbed on to John’s lap, straddling him, and John’s other hand settled on the small of his back while he wrapped the other around Brian’s cock and Brian let out a breathy sigh, hips jerking to get more friction. He sneaked his hands around John’s neck and leaned in to kiss him, all messy and hard as John set up a sharp, quick pace on his cock, ready to give him release he ached for. The heat was pooling lower and lower and John broke the kiss to move to Brian’s neck, teeth scraping over the sensitive skin before stopping to suck on the spot near the collarbone. There would surely be a bruise next day and only the thought of it, John leaving his mark on him, was enough to make Brian shiver of pleasure.

He was close, so close, and when John’s hand that was resting on his back slid lower, between his buttocks and reached his hole, teasing it lightly, Brian mewled. Heavy puffs of air left his lungs, his whole skin heating up, and it only took a few skilled moves of the wrist from John before Brian was coming all over his hand and shirt, body trembling through the orgasm as he rested his forehead against the backrest of the couch, right beside John’s head.

”I...” Brian whispered, almost slipping the fateful words out in the haze of bliss but the rest were left hanging in the air as he was evening out his breathing.

A knot was starting to form in his stomach when he finally came down from the pleasure high and he straightened himself, locking gazes with John. He could see it in John’s eyes – that he _knew_ what Brian had been about to say – but it was mixed with confusion and maybe even a hint of sadness, and Brian’s heart was tucked at unpleasantly and he climbed off of John’s lap. John was trying to reach out to him but Brian dodged his hand and took his leather pants from the floor and hurried to the toilet without sparing another glance at John.

*

After cleaning himself up and mentally preparing to face John, Brian returned to the photography room. John had discarded the cum-stained shirt and was holding a clean one on his hand as he stood close to the table where all his photography equipment was. He had pulled his jeans up but hadn’t bothered to close the button or zipper and as soon as he saw Brian entering the room he started to approach him, brows knitted in concern.

”Can you stay?” 

John’s voice was hesitating with a hint of desperation bleeding through it as he brushed Brian’s arm with his fingers. Brian opened his mouth but no words came out – instead, he just nodded, then watching as John made his way to the toilet. When he heard the door close with a click, he ran his hands over his face and let out a long sigh. 

The next few minutes seemed to pass extremely slowly.

He hadn’t felt like sitting down so he just stood there, in the middle of the room, pacing when John finally returned. Their eyes met as he walked to Brian, stopping right in front of him, and carefully taking Brian’s hand in his. Brian inhaled slowly, his heart beating heavily in his chest, the unpleasant feeling churning in his stomach as he looked at John, waiting for the man to say something – anything.

”This… thing between us isn’t just for fun anymore, is it?” John asked, keeping his voice quiet and soft.

”I guess you already know the answer,” Brian said, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth and biting it.

”When we started all of this, we agreed that--”

Brian didn’t let John finish his sentence. ”I know what we agreed on but things got complicated.”

”Complicated? Funny way to say you developed feelings along the way,” John commented, his tone still staying calm, no signs of accusation in it. 

”That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

”Of course it wasn’t.”

”But it happened and that makes things complicated,” Brian stated, shifting a bit further away from John, though he didn’t shake his hand away from his hold.

”Why do you think so?” John raised his brow, the look in his eyes being now a mix of confusion and worry. Brian shook his head, the knot in his stomach tightening as he tensed. It didn’t go unnoticed by John as he brought his fee hand to Brian’s wrist, gently starting to draw circles on it with his fingers, trying to make him relax. It helped a little but Brian couldn’t bring himself to say more. He needed more time – the moment just wasn’t right.

”John, please...” he whispered, pulling his hand away from John’s hold. ”I can’t do this right now.”

”Brian...” John said, the desperation flooding back into his gaze as Brian took a few steps away from him. He reached out his hand but Brian just shook his head again, looking at him apologetic.

”I’m sorry John,” Brian spoke, his voice cracking a bit as the tears started to burn in his eyes. ”I need to go now.”

The last thing Brian saw before collecting his things and walking out of the door was John looking at him with hurt written all over his face.

When the door fell closed, Brian slumped against the wall beside it, heart aching and new knots forming within him. He shut his eyes, clenching his hands into fists, and let the tears finally break free as all the emotions flooded through him like a whirlwind.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think 💕


End file.
